The Loop

Any other storytellers out there get trapped in a storytelling loop?

There’s a situation in my life right now that requires some forgiveness, and I find myself trapped in the cycle of telling my story over and over and not moving past it. I mentioned it before, but The Book of Forgiving by Desmond Tutu and Mpho Tutu has been immensely helpful for that.

We choose forgiveness because it is how we find freedom and keep from remaining trapped in an endless loop of telling our stories and naming our hurts.

Desmond Tutu and Mpho Tutu, The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World

I’m sure getting stuck in this loop is partly because of my huge imagination. I’m always wondering what other people are thinking and experiencing, trying to pinpoint the drama behind what’s actually being said/done. This is great for writing plays and providing a direction for a performance. But it’s not always that great for real life.

What I’m trying to do is accept that that’s how my brain works. I shouldn’t shame myself for “overthinking”, or trying to iron out all the details of any heavy experience. I think it’s a useful skill. But, there comes a point where I just have to choose forgiveness: see the shared humanity in all of us and understand we’re all trying to do the best we can.

Real life comes with unsatisfactory endings sometimes, unfortunately. Blegh.

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